His Hinata
by HanaChou
Summary: He silently hoped they can - though, be intimate. Neji silently wished that she could see him - after this. Because Neji silently cursed...she was all he could see...after all these years. [Arranged Marriage: After Shinobi War]
1. Chapter 1

***ONE***

_**"Just because its heart is beating means it's alive"**_

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

He already knew about her- them, even before the war started.  
His cold white eyes darted to the white ceiling above him, his arms crossed on his forehead as he lay on the futon.  
Neji already knew what they needed to do even before they were told of it.

He was a genius.

And so here he was.  
He wished he could re-arrange it - he thought he could escape from it, that the war could have prevented it from coming. Only it rushed it more.

Neji thought giving up his life for Hinata could save her - _them._  
But even if he was a genius, he can never know what future could bring. Neji was tied to his words, to what Hyuuga will say. He was theirs - hers.

So he lay here, contemplating.

He didn't save her to escape - he knew that.  
He saved her from death during the battle because he knew her life was more important.  
He saved her from death during the battle because he swore he would always protect her.  
He saved her from death during the battle becuase he didn't hate her - she would always be his Hinata.

And she also saved him many times before.

But now, no one can save them both.

Neji Hyuuga survived the battle and it had been five months since the war ended.

The village was almost finished renovating buildings, one by one, everyone was moving on. Many died - he almost died too. If it weren't for Hinata and Sakura's healing abilities.

For the nth time, he closed his eyes, his palms sweaty and tears threatened to escape his eyes. He can't do it but he had to.

His fingers touched his cursed seal...he had to.

.

Hinata came out from the comfort room as Neji sat up on their bed - swallowing a dry throat. She was the most beautiful bride he'd seen. And no, he couldn't bring himself to hate her - not again.

She was his.

The wedding was private - but it was not wanted...it was needed.

Hiashi died in the battle and Neji was named heir - and Hinata needed to marry him.

For duty.

_For duty._

.

Soft blush caressed her cheeks, her peach lips opening..  
"We have to. Eventually. So let's just get this over with." Neji told her, his voice was low. Not like how it was before - he was warm, his voice was.

Hinata nodded and walked in her white and thin yukata towards the bed.  
Neji was already half naked, he was perfection. The huge scar donned his creamy torso - he saved her life. For more than she could remember - she owed him everything.

There was no way she could back up from the marriage. She had to at least do this, for Neji.

For duty.

_For duty._

.

Hinata swallowed, "We both h-have to"

* * *

Neji knew it will hurt her. She loved Naruto, Naruto was too - getting fond of her. But Neji needed her to marry him, not because it would repay the good deeds he had done for her. But she had to, she was heiress.

But Hinata, upon knowing she had to marry Neji, didn't cry. Not like what he thought she would do.

No.

She just nodded and gave a soft smile.

She understood why, what for - she understood that this time it was Neji who needed her.

And she gave him herself.

.

.

"F-foreplay?"

Her blush darkened as Neji nodded, his long and lean arms reaching over to turn off the lamp.

They both have to.

Neji moved his way to kiss her, his eyes shut - he had to end this because he knows it will hurt her. But they had no choice and it was final. And they both agreed to it - he had to do it.

The kiss was greedy, rough - her hands lightly pushed him. "Neji nii..Neji"

Neji claimed her lips, her hands - this time, pulled him closer. Arching her back as he moved her to the center of the bed. Separating her legs and kneeling in between them.

Her right hand stayed in his hair and at the back of his neck - pulling him closer and the other roaming at the scar around his torso. Touching the huge scar that reminded her of what she actually owed him.

"H-Hinata. We can stop if - " Neji tried his best not to stutter - it was getting hot. If he continues, there was no going back.

.

.

"Continue, Neji nii-...Neji"

_Just Neji._

He can't see her fully in the dark. He didn't need to - but just his hands roaming around her soft body was enough to tell him he was a beauty. But he might never see them after this night - they only needed to consummate the marriage and conceive an heir - not unless tonight's work won't pull off the show.

He silently hoped they can - though, be intimate.

Neji silently wished that she could see him - after this.  
Because Neji silently cursed...she was all he could see...after all these years.

And yes.

He saved her from death during the battle because he loved her.

More than being a sister.

But being Hinata.

_His Hinata._

* * *

**A/N: Not too much heavy plot - just simple drabble ion Neji and Hinata's love life. **

**I hope you liked it. Please leave a review. I'd really appreciate it. Hope to update as soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

***TWO***

_**"Just because its heart is beating doesn't means it's alive"**_

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

Hinata waited for him to come home from a mission. Her feet rested under her bottom, hands on her lap cradling a not so warm cup of tea. Hinata sighed and looked over the garden. She had just finished watering the lot and pulling out the stubborn weeds. It wouldn't be long until all her planted flowers will grow back. Finally, there will be color in this house - and hopefully in this village.

It has been five months since the war ended, the village is now back on its feet - doing their usual business. The hospital was doing a fine job and medics from different allied villages offered help, houses are almost done with renovating and building with the help of ninjas, and of course - the huge debris that blocked the streets for are long gone.  
It felt as if it really was starting to have a clearer picture, Hinata hoped.

The missions are still on-going, especially in search of missing ninjas, missing bodies. Yesterday, Neji was summoned for look out since almost all ANBU members are busy with their missions and for the rebuilding of Konoha.

She sighed, her long hair draping like curtains on her shoulders.

She didn't understand it, not that she was feeling selfish - but as the head of the Hyuuga clan, shouldn't Neji retire from missions? Since he had a clan to protect and govern?

On the other hand, missions are on-going and yet she isn't called for anything (but her husband was!) - not even for hospital works for the past two weeks. It must be because she had just gotten married, she thought.

The back of her hand wiped a sweat forming on her forehead and with a last look, she viewed her garden and she smiled. Finally, she made up her mind and decided that she need not to be told - she simply wanted to help in the hospital. A small smile graced her lips as she slowly stood up.

Resting the tea cup on the low table, she changed her kimono to the usual ninja outfit. Black pocketed pants, black shirt and green vest. Indeed, it was more comfortable wearing lighter clothes. Her feet padded on the bamboo floor, deciding and choosing not to wait until her _husband_ comes home - she'll just leave a note.

Walking around the village was something she hasn't done for the past week since she married Neji. There were many things that changed overnight, in a snap, her cousin becomes her husband.

_Husband._

_Neji._

She noticed his tear stained cheek that night, the way his heart felt when his chest pressed against hers.  
He shouldn't have had picked her - he didn't deserve her.

Over and over again, she was ruining his life.  
Over and over again, she was killing him.

He tried protecting her from death, many times over.  
He had protected her, many times over.

But as her eyes darted to the people walking on the street, she realized...Neji was protecting her because it was his duty.

_Duty._

_Neji should have at least picked Ten-Ten. He must have like her more than he likes me._

Hinata looked at the forming crowd in the market. She will cook something nice for him, the least she can do after a mission, right? Before going home after helping in the hospital, she'll pass by the market to buy some ingredients for his favorite meal.

That's the least she can do for him.  
Let him fulfill his duties by filling in hers.

_As his wife._

They were two birds never to be freed by that damned word of duty for their family. A mix of emotions started to flow through her, confusion - and realizations... She didn't hate Neji for choosing her as his wife - it was the only thing to repay him his life...  
Neji was a good person and she did hope she could make him happy - after all, she might never be good enough for anyone - not even good enough for Naruto, not even Neji. Because she was never good enough.

_Right?_

Suddenly, she realized her hands clutch tightly on her chest. Why did it hurt?

Why did it hurt when she thought she wasn't enough? That everything was done for duty - not emotions.

She was used to these kind of feelings, right? The feeling of hurt and being not enough? Her father made sure of it.

Biting her lower lip, she mentally slapped herself. It was different.

Before even reaching the hospital, however, she felt a strong grip on her arm - turning her around.

His pale eyes met hers.

.

.

His eyes were wide in shock as she looked at him in her distress.

"Hinata"

Her mouth parted to say something of a greeting when she tasted something salty in the corner of her lips. Before she knew it, his thumb reached over to wipe her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?"

A sharp tinge of pain pierced though her chest.

And before she could tell herself to stop, she found herself circling her arms around his waist - pulling him closer.

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**A/N: DRABBLES are fun. I hope you enjoy as much as I do. **


	3. Chapter 3

***THREE***

_**"Just because its heart is beating doesn't means it's alive"**_

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

"Y-You can't" Her voice, though with a stutter, was firm and willed. Hinata on the opposite wall, is leaning - fidgeting - on the closed door of their room.

Neji blinked at her red face, then looked at her red rimmed eyes. His eyes darted to the tear stained cheeks, to her wet and clumped lashes...

_She has been crying._

Neji blinked at her again. This time Hinata's left hand wiped away the sweat on her nose, her eyes were focused on the floor. His throat never felt dry-er.

"Hinata, I feel better. I don't believe I have to actua-"

He didn't really know which led to what.

.

_I saw her crying yesterday at the market, she hugged me...and then_

_and then what happened?_

.

Neji wasn't the one to be left clueless. He rolled his eyes back, trying to remember...

_And so she was crying when he last saw her, then she suddenly hugged him - and then..._ah.  
_He remembered - headache - black - he had passed out._

The taller figure walked nearer the door, nearer to her. "They say it's normal, after having the seal removed. Hina-"

Hinata gave him _the_ look. Her lower lip moved and Neji knew what will happen next.

_She'll cry._

Neji hated it when she cries, it never failed to make himself feel useless.

"I-I-I talked to the council already, I told them you're not feeling well" Biting off her cheeks, her eyes began to lower. Tired? No, 'tired' is an understatement - Hinata was not tired, she looked like life was sucked out of her - he grimaced at the thought.

"How long had I been out?"

If she had to talk to the council...then it must be noon - meaning he slept all day.

"A day"

.

Neji nodded, sitting on the edge of their bed and looking over the crumpled sheets and the bed table. His gaze narrowed at the sight of a small basin filled with water; white towel hanging on its side, two glasses with the other one almost empty.  
"You took care of me?" His voice was surprisingly fresh - almost asking - asking for assurance (?)

Hinata nodded.

And then when she finally looked at him, he settled on the bed again and tapped the empty side of the bed.

.

_Hinata was so scared. She was crying - and then Neji was suddenly behind her - and she hugged him._  
_She didn't know why, but she was asking for his comfort...and then he fell - limp and leaning on her - and all she could do was search for help._

_The elders said it would be because of the fatigue (which happened more often these days) - and a side effect of the removal of the bird cage seal._

_But she was still worried._

_Neji fainted - he was never weak._

.

Hinata sighed and walked, climbing now to their bed. "Sorry" He mumbled.

"I-I couldn't sleep..you weren't waking up like how" her voice broke, "how..like how -"  
Neji nodded, his gaze was still soft.

"I know, but I'm okay now. You should sleep, your eyes are raw"

Hinata blushed but shook her head, "Y-you'll get up when I sleep and y-you'll work again...and fall sick"

Hinata swore she heard him chuckle.

"No. I won't escape, I'll stay and rest for a little while"

The heiress was never demanding, but she eyed him a little bit longer this time - and later on just nodded. She was worried - about Neji, her husband - she wanted to make this work. Because she didn't want to feel useless - at least make a stronger bond between them (?) And so she was worried - genuinely, about his health.

Hinata was never selfish - she was far from it, but yesterday until today all she wanted was Neji's assurance...Neji telling her that she has not failed - that she was not failing and that he was _proud of her._..words that never been heard from her father.

Hinata wanted to tell Neji that his choice was right - that him marrying Hinata was right - she wanted to hear from him. Someday - not today - but someday. So Hinata swore she'll do anything to make this work.

So deep in thought, Hinata didn't even feel he moved. He surprised her with his bold move, his lips touched her forehead and suddenly before she knew it -_again_- her arms found a resting place on his waist and her head on his chest.  
She wanted to get used to this.

She want him to get used to this.

So she's going to make this work. Hinata smiled inwardly.

.

.

They ask him if it felt wrong - marrying his own cousin.  
They ask him if they were awkward - with the fact they had to consummate the marriage and soon bear a child.

Neji always kept silent.

This is not what they wanted - at least it was the better choice for him - but it was not considered incest.

They simply had to retain the pure blood of the Byakugan - to retain its essence. To preserve its secrets...

But Neji always knew there was more than that...

Byakugan and its secrets are worth less than what he has right now.

_Hinata_

.

.

He looked at her pale face and let his arms rest on her back, making circular motions.  
No secret was worth more than having her beside him.

And before he entertain himself to darkness, he pressed his lips on the crown of her head..

Neji was selfish like that.

.


	4. Chapter 4

***FOUR***

_**"Just because its heart is beating doesn't means it's alive"**_

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

When Kurenai said she was called for a mission, with no hesitation, Hinata volunteered to take care of the young Sarutobi for the whole week. Which explains why a toddler was sprawled on his - their - bed with his wife. Neji sighed silently and watched the rise and fall of the toddler's chest as he breathes.

He wondered, when the time comes that they'd finally have their own child, what kind of father would he be?

Would he be like the cold Hiashi? Neji silently hoped not.

He didn't want to raise his child coldly like Hiashi raised Hinata and Hanabi - he wanted to raise his child with warmth. Like how his father raised him.

But right now, thinking of having a child was a preposterous idea. Maybe on their first (and only) intimate night, they were already able to conceive a child? The thought bothered him, not that he didn't want to have child with Hinata.

But life wasn't fair to her. Hinata was another kind soul who was forced to this mess, she didn't deserve a man she did't love. She doesn't deserve to be tied in a marriage that bore nothing but duty.

And Neji knew he's not the one to make Hinata happy. How could he make her happy? He wasn't like Naruto. Actually very far from being like him.

With another heavy sigh, he decided he'd continue his work for tonight.

...

...

...

Hinata jerked awake, with the need to use the toilet. In a swift move, she placed pillow around the toddler, not risking him to fall from the high mattress.

She sat, her eyes drifting close again until she saw it. Blood.

Hinata bit on her hand to suppress her sobs.

And with a need to shut her eyes, she took a deep breath and went to have a quick warm shower to relax.

All she could ever do was think about Neji.

Life is unfair for him; he was denied of a father because of her, he almost died countless times in battle for her, he had to marry her... but this was too much. She cursed herself, why wasn't she good enough? Even though knowing it wasn't her fault, she continued to cry.

Hinata failed again, this time she failed Neji, she failed to give him an heir.

Of course, she was being silly - no one was at fault but she didn't want to feel Neji's heart beat so nervously again the way she felt it the night they consummated their marriage. She didn't want to see those tears that slipped from his silver eyes. She didn't want to hurt him anymore.

And she began to cry again, this time not bothering to stop her sobs from being heard.

...

After her shower, when she stepped out of their walk-in-closet, she saw Neji with Sora in his arms watching the snow by the window.

She pulled her arms closer to her warm loose shirt and walked to her husband in her sweatpants. "He woke up?"

Neji nodded and peeked at the again-sleeping boy in his arms. "He walked to my office looking for you"

Hinata nodded and looked at him as if asking if he'd want her to take Sora. He smiled and shook his head. The almost two-year old toddler's head shifted to Neji's neck for comfort as the older Hyuuga tightened his hold.

"He's growing too fast" he mumbled,  
"It's as if only yesterday he was born. I hope the two years of war didn't affect him" she replied.

.

"What's wrong, Hinata?" His eyes shifted from the snow covered ground outside to her red rimmed pale lavender eyes. "I heard you crying"

Hinata took a step back and sat on their bed, Neji's eyes followed her.

"I'm not...We didn't...I'm not pregnant"

In a light pause, she searched for his response.

"I'm sorry" she heard him say. With the light slowly creeping in their dark room, he saw her head shake violently and soon he heard her sob.

"I'm sorry"

.

Neji stepped forward and laid the toddler on their mattress before turning back to Hinata. Slowly kneeling in front of her so she'd see him, he cupped her cheeks and forced her to look at him.

"We didn't do it right back then, Hinata. Let's take our time, we're still young. The next time you kiss me, let it be because I am the only man your heart desires and I'd promise the same with you." With that he kissed her forehead and went back to his office.

Hinata wondered what she did so great to have married a man like Neji.


End file.
